I've been thinking about dreams...

HOLLY'S BIG DREAM

Early in my journey I saw the value of embracing a personal mission statement to provide direction for my days. I created a profoundly simple version that has served me well.

I exist to serve by stimulating growth for the glory of God.

 

All around me everyday are many opportunities to fulfill my mission. I have learned that I will be able to carry this mission out to the end of my days because it does not depend on environments or circumstances to flourish. I just need to maintain focus and keep distractions to a minimum.

 

Now, in this latter stage of my life, I also see the value of embracing a personal dream statement to
provide definition for my life. To this end, I have been working since last summer on a profoundly simple version to capture the essence of the Dream Giver's sovereign intentions for me.

Looking back I began tracking my dream by noticing the events of my life as they unfolded over the years. Way before I knew what it meant, the Dream Giver began shaping me into a visionary idealist who noticed and appreciated beauty. I longed to bring my everyday physical realities and the beautiful visions dancing in my head together! 

I tracked my desire to change things for the better that began appearing in elementary school. It all began with my room, my home, my yard and then out into the community. This was the beginning of the unfolding of my big dream.  

I tracked my vision to head out to California that dominated my teenage years and by the grace of God became a reality in 1967. I tracked my desire to make things better around me that found expression with my roommates and the youth group at Grace Community Church in Panorama City, California. During that season I tasted greater knowledge of the Word of God and the beauty of Christian fellowship. My quest now incorporated snapshots of emotional and spiritual beauty.

I tracked my desire to provide a beautiful physical, emotional and spiritual home environment for my husband and children. I was driven by an unquenchable desire to make the quality of our life together as beautiful as possible! This beauty revolved around trusting God for His provision and wisdom regarding raising a family.

Then at age thirty I can say I truly fell in love with the Dream Giver in a much deeper way. I became smitten with His plan and purposes for the world. His beauty mesmerized me! This grounding led me to accept a position within women's ministry at Scottsdale Bible Church to coordinate the worship for the Tuesday morning Bible studies. My responsibilities there kept me on an intense growth spurt for several years all driven by my quest to create more spiritual beauty.

My worship experience led me to examine closely how God accomplished His work in the world. I focused in on spiritual gifts and how they functioned in the body of Christ. I pursued creating a structure to see how the gifts manifested themselves. The end result was an enrichment class for women at Scottsdale Bible Church called Women of Substance. As much as I valued the women coming through the doors (and I did), I was fascinated more by how a team of women worked together in leadership.

As a result of my Women of Substance experience, I desired to go deeper in stimulating growth with individual women. I developed a formal mentoring ministry and began organizing materials that I knew through personal experience were necessary for any woman to mature spiritually.

This curriculum grew into SoulWork which provided all manner of opportunities to encourage women to bring order out of the spiritual chaos in their lives. Bringing order out of chaos, I discovered, was yet one more manifestation of my desire to create redemptive beauty in the world around me!

As I continued to grow in my understanding, I found myself challenging the status quo. I wanted to provide a place for the women of our community to be encouraged to be all God created them to be. My visionary idealism became a reality when the Center for Women with Vision was launched at Phoenix Seminary. The peaceful beauty of the center along with genuine caring through life-to-life exchange became redemptive hallmarks of the environment there.

Today as I evaluate the outcomes of my life that have been accomplished by the power of God, I am embracing this personal dream statement:

I was born to be a

visionary idealist

with a Big Dream in my heart to

create redemptive beauty 

for the sovereign purposes of God.

 

From life to death to resurrection to life once again. All visible outcomes in my life will live and die; come and go. 2 Corinthians 4:18 reminds me that only the invisible lasts eternally, We look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. As the cycle continues, here is the prayerful question on my lips. What do You want me to beautify next?  By God's strength I want to finish well! I want to stay true to my calling. This is the cry of my heart! Amen!

I've been thinking about attitude...

GRATITUDE IS THE BEST ATTITUDE

Have you noticed that no matter how your world is turned upside down or how much disappointment is heaped upon you, there is really nowhere else to look but up? Have you noticed that after navigating a particularly difficult season in life you eventually come around to an attitude of gratitude once again?

Today I can say with confidence that God has immersed me in His grace and He has blessed me with greater awareness and understanding than was possible in my pre-transition state! Thank goodness for His sanctification process that is shaping my character. I know He has been faithful to do His work because my spirit is alive and well despite a rocky last few months!

I have been challenged recently by a statement made by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, the German Lutheran pastor and theologian, whose involvement in a plot to overthrow Adolf Hitler led to his imprisonment and execution in 1945. Dietrich said, "Gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy."

Certainly because of all he suffered, Dietrich could offer this testimony with genuine credibility. There were many dark days in prison as he approached his execution but even the painful pangs of memory were changed to peaceful joy and acceptance because he cultivated an attitude of gratitude while awaiting his fate.

Dietrich is also quoted as saying, "In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give and life cannot be rich without such gratitude. It is very easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements in comparison with what we owe others."

In this quote I find a helpful hint about how to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Gratitude surges into significance when I take time to stop and think about all that I have been given. This recognition not only helps me put my own achievements in proper perspective but it also creates space for me to fill with remembrance and then appreciation for everyone who enabled me to accomplish them.

Here are some helpful questions for gaining greater clarity:
Have I valued my own achievements more than appreciating what I have been given? If so, stop it!
How much of who I am and what I have to offer is owed to others? Everything!
Is it possible I owe much more than I could every repay? Absolutely!
Is there room in my life for more gratitude? Yes, lots of space to fill with names and faces!

Thank you, Lord, for protecting my soul.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me a future and a hope.
Thank you, Lord, for giving my life purpose everyday.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me a dream with an unfamiliar tune and teaching me the lyrics.
Thank you, Lord, for parents who stayed together and created a safe home.
Thank you, Lord, for a husband who rejoices with my successes and weeps with my failures.
Thank you, Lord, for sons who generously give me their undivided attention.
Thank you, Lord, for daughters who graciously give me their warm affection.
Thank you, Lord, for energetic grandchildren who give me endless fun and laughter.
Thank you, Lord, for friends who love me in all manner of creative ways.
Thank you, Lord, for mentees who cheerfully give me their trust and respect.
Thank you, Lord, for loving Christians who embrace my pastor husband and his unique wife

It has seemed to me sometimes as though the Lord breathes on this poor grey ember of Creation and it turns to radiance--for a moment or a year or the span of a life. And then it sinks back into itself again, and to look at it no one would know it had anything to do with fire, or light... Wherever you turn your eyes the world can shine like transfiguration. You don't have to bring a thing to it except a little willingness to see. Only, who could have the courage to see it?

- p. 245, Gilead by Marilynne Robinson

Thank you, Lord, for replacing pangs of memory with tranquil joy!

       



 



I've been thinking about pauses...

Temporary Stops 

Transitions provide perfect opportunities to temporarily stop the tempo of life and linger to contemplate perspectives gained through change.

So many times I have rejoiced over the fact that God does not leave me undeveloped and incomplete in this journey called life. He is constantly sanctifying me and moving me toward wholeness and maturity. Because of His love for me and His desire to see me grow, I can anticipate that I will be a more complete version of myself at the dawn of each and every day of my life.

During temporary pauses in my life I have found great encouragement in sunflowers.  Sunflowers keep their faces toward the luminous celestial body we call the sun. In the same way, I want to keep my face toward my "sun" - the Son of God, the luminous celestial body who rules my universe! Being conscious that He is reigning and ruling my world even during times of tremendous change soothes my soul.

Last Sunday keeping my face toward the Son was rewarded with a truth from 2 John verse 8. It says, Watch yourselves, so that you may not lose what we have worked for, but may win a full reward. This verse warns a laborer not to lose focus at the close of the day because he risks losing what he has worked the entire day for - full compensation for all his labor.

This truth pierced my heart as snapshots of 40+ years of my own labor tumbled through my mind. The pain of recent events (the abrupt and heartbreaking close of the Center for Women with Vision) was stripped away and I was left in a state of humility before God. This is always a good place for me to find myself!

Then, my thoughts turned to the warning in this verse. I have been tempted recently to slack off, to back away, to not give 100%. After all, I am 63 years old and I am tired! I have developed and refined five start-ups over the last twenty years requiring an immense amount of work: UA College of Medicine, Phoenix with Jacque Chadwick in 1992; Women of Substance enrichment class at Scottsdale Bible Church in 1992; Prickly Perspectives, Inc., my non-profit mentoring ministry in 1999; SoulWork, LLC, a for-profit corporation selling my SoulWork curriculum in 2006; and the Center for Women with Vision at Phoenix Seminary in 2009. Maybe I have done enough? Maybe I can retire???

Lingering over this truth from 2 John since Sunday has been very good for me.

• Lingering has revealed a renewed commitment to finish well. The future is brighter!
• Lingering has deposited a fresh supply of love. I have more energy to care for others!
• Lingering has produced a renewed strength. I want to move out in faith into life once again! 
• Lingering has brought back the sparkle!

This does not mean all the questions have been answered or that all the closure needed has occurred. It means that God honors His promises to support His children during times of transition and the pauses it brings into my life. It means He is faithfully honoring His promise to care for me - His daughter - and He is bringing good out of the trials in my life. It means He knows and He understands!