Venting: A Chance to Speak Express Frustration Graciously
The Scottsdale Tribune has a column on the Opinion page entitled The Vent. Individuals e-mail their comments to vent@evtrib.com or phone comments to (480) 898-6806. Every once in a while I read The Vent to see how our society is expressing itself. One day back in June of 2008 I read this comment directed to someone who shot and killed a grandmother. "You are a dirty little coward. I hope the gates of hell open up and invade your dreams with the slimiest demons there can be and eat your soul until you are nothing but a quivering, blubbering mass in the gutter where you belong."
I kept this particular column because of the imaginative language this person used in venting his or her opinion. I am not sure I could come up with this particular line of verbiage if my life depended on it! And so, here is a model of how to say something intensely without using filthy language. And this leads me to the topic for this blog...language.
Each time I open my mouth, I must make a choice about the way I will speak, the language I will use. Most of the time when I think about language, I think about the very practical Scripture in Ephesians 4:29 that instructs me not to use "corrupting talk" or evil speech, meaning "rotten" or "putrid" speech. Instead, I am to use talk that is good for building up and giving grace. To "give grace" is to speak in a way that benefits others.
Every once in a while, when the occasion calls for it, it is important to know how to say something potently strong but with language that is not foul or objectionable. Let's be honest, it takes no effort or creativity to reinforce our headlong downward spiral as a society into bad choices in morals, manners, actions and language. On the other hand, it takes great wit and wisdom to vent in a vigorous and emotional way while still choosing to convey dignity and honor on others who are listening or as in this case reading us. Hats off then, to our expressive venter, who made the choice to do it the hard way and who is still remembered for it!!!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Saturday, October 18, 2008
I've been thinking about what matters...
Laurel Is With the Lord
I read Gary Nagel's brief but poignant e-mail message with a sober heart. It said:
Laurel is with the Lord.
She lost her battle with cancer on September 17, 2007.
I had mentored Laurel in 2004 and 2005. She was a mature woman but a new believer at the time. I turned on my printer and downloaded the e-mail for my records. A few days later, I pulled Laurel's file and right there in the front of the folder was a message from Laurel herself, signed by her hand, dated Monday, May 2, 2005, 7:28 pm.
"Once upon a time there lived a Princess in a far off land...STOP. This is how I would have liked my story to begin but not even close. When I first began with Prickly Perspectives, I was asked to "harvest wisdom from my past." I quickly crossed out the word "harvest" and replaced it with "salvage." This was a grueling experience and I had great resistance to recounting my life, especially my childhood years. I didn't understand why it was important to examine painful times and in some instances, unearth long buried memories. After completing the course, spread out over half a year, I feel I have grown like a plant fed with MiracleGro. I had such a fragmented understanding of God and even doubted whether what I was learning was true. After a particularly difficult Christmas holiday, I was about to give up. The only thing that made me keep my January appointment was the knowledge that I would find comfort in my hour and a half with Holly. Somehow she always managed to give me some hope for a better tomorrow. I was hanging by a thread. It was hard for me to trust anyone on such a personal level especially when my own parrents taught me gross lies and had molded me into a child with a skewed view of the world."
Then, she went on to say:
"Now, on my last day of personal time with Holly I am sad not to have more mentoring ahead. However, she gave me wings to lift up and to fly high. Remarkable changes have taken place and that old person I was is no more. There may be some small traces of the unsettled, hopeless woman I was but for the most part I have a new vision, a new direction. There were times when I felt she should be spending her precious time with someone more worthy. She never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. She got through the many layers of barriers and brought God and me face-to-face. I felt a love I had never known. Everythings looks so beautiful. I look forward to each day with great promise. Never will I be able to thank Holly enough for performing a spiritual CPR on me whose insides were so close to being dead. And, as I write all this, I realize the hand that was working. Thank you, God, for orchestrating my time and my life-changing sessions with Holly. I pray that I live worthy of my new found life."
Memories flood my mind as I re-read these words once again. I am so glad I was available for Laurel and that my help made a difference. I also decided to commemorate her here in my blog and say that her life mattered to God, and because it mattered to God, it mattered to me.
I read Gary Nagel's brief but poignant e-mail message with a sober heart. It said:
Laurel is with the Lord.
She lost her battle with cancer on September 17, 2007.
I had mentored Laurel in 2004 and 2005. She was a mature woman but a new believer at the time. I turned on my printer and downloaded the e-mail for my records. A few days later, I pulled Laurel's file and right there in the front of the folder was a message from Laurel herself, signed by her hand, dated Monday, May 2, 2005, 7:28 pm.
"Once upon a time there lived a Princess in a far off land...STOP. This is how I would have liked my story to begin but not even close. When I first began with Prickly Perspectives, I was asked to "harvest wisdom from my past." I quickly crossed out the word "harvest" and replaced it with "salvage." This was a grueling experience and I had great resistance to recounting my life, especially my childhood years. I didn't understand why it was important to examine painful times and in some instances, unearth long buried memories. After completing the course, spread out over half a year, I feel I have grown like a plant fed with MiracleGro. I had such a fragmented understanding of God and even doubted whether what I was learning was true. After a particularly difficult Christmas holiday, I was about to give up. The only thing that made me keep my January appointment was the knowledge that I would find comfort in my hour and a half with Holly. Somehow she always managed to give me some hope for a better tomorrow. I was hanging by a thread. It was hard for me to trust anyone on such a personal level especially when my own parrents taught me gross lies and had molded me into a child with a skewed view of the world."
Then, she went on to say:
"Now, on my last day of personal time with Holly I am sad not to have more mentoring ahead. However, she gave me wings to lift up and to fly high. Remarkable changes have taken place and that old person I was is no more. There may be some small traces of the unsettled, hopeless woman I was but for the most part I have a new vision, a new direction. There were times when I felt she should be spending her precious time with someone more worthy. She never gave up on me even when I gave up on myself. She got through the many layers of barriers and brought God and me face-to-face. I felt a love I had never known. Everythings looks so beautiful. I look forward to each day with great promise. Never will I be able to thank Holly enough for performing a spiritual CPR on me whose insides were so close to being dead. And, as I write all this, I realize the hand that was working. Thank you, God, for orchestrating my time and my life-changing sessions with Holly. I pray that I live worthy of my new found life."
Memories flood my mind as I re-read these words once again. I am so glad I was available for Laurel and that my help made a difference. I also decided to commemorate her here in my blog and say that her life mattered to God, and because it mattered to God, it mattered to me.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
I've been thinking about dreaming...
FOLLOW YOUR DREAM!
A craftsman in medieval times would work for months on a special piece that displayed his finest artistic skill. Finally, when the work was finished, he would present it to the craftsmen's guild in hopes of achieving the rank of master. The work was called his masterpiece.
In Psalm 139 we see God, the master craftsman, lovingly at work on His masterpiece - a precious child! This Psalm has a profound impact on the way I view myself, especially when I realize that I am not only His child, but His artwork as well!
In instructing Moses about how to proceed with creating the Tabernacle in Exodus 28:3, God says, You shall speak to all the skillful persons whom I have endowed with the spirit of wisdom... The term "skillful" persons here means the "wise of heart" whom God has endowed with artistic skill. This passage clearly states that God gifts His children with a unique contribution or kind of wisdom regarding their place in His world.
My faith rests on Scriptures like these, which tell me God has a unique plan for me. He has given me "a way of seeing" which is a form of wisdom to stir my heart and lift me to fulfill His purposes. He even keeps me motivated by placing dreams, His dreams for me, in my heart.
God placed a dream in my heart to move from Iowa to California where I married a man who committed his life to ministry. He placed a dream in my heart to raise two strong sons. Who, but God, knew that the rearing techniques I learned in my home were His training ground for teaching me how to minister to an ever-widening circle of men and women. God also placed a dream in my heart to reach out to single women, professional women, women alone at church, by providing a safe harbor called Women of Substance.
A recent dream God has placed in my heart is to give myself away in mentoring women in deep and substantial ways through my SoulWork curriculum. What is the bottom line? His dream for me keeps me pressing forward into each new day with a clear vision and grateful anticipation for all that lies ahead.
What about you? Do you have a dream? If not, have you asked God for His dream for your life? When you know it, I encourage you to follow it with all your heart!
A craftsman in medieval times would work for months on a special piece that displayed his finest artistic skill. Finally, when the work was finished, he would present it to the craftsmen's guild in hopes of achieving the rank of master. The work was called his masterpiece.
In Psalm 139 we see God, the master craftsman, lovingly at work on His masterpiece - a precious child! This Psalm has a profound impact on the way I view myself, especially when I realize that I am not only His child, but His artwork as well!
In instructing Moses about how to proceed with creating the Tabernacle in Exodus 28:3, God says, You shall speak to all the skillful persons whom I have endowed with the spirit of wisdom... The term "skillful" persons here means the "wise of heart" whom God has endowed with artistic skill. This passage clearly states that God gifts His children with a unique contribution or kind of wisdom regarding their place in His world.
My faith rests on Scriptures like these, which tell me God has a unique plan for me. He has given me "a way of seeing" which is a form of wisdom to stir my heart and lift me to fulfill His purposes. He even keeps me motivated by placing dreams, His dreams for me, in my heart.
God placed a dream in my heart to move from Iowa to California where I married a man who committed his life to ministry. He placed a dream in my heart to raise two strong sons. Who, but God, knew that the rearing techniques I learned in my home were His training ground for teaching me how to minister to an ever-widening circle of men and women. God also placed a dream in my heart to reach out to single women, professional women, women alone at church, by providing a safe harbor called Women of Substance.
A recent dream God has placed in my heart is to give myself away in mentoring women in deep and substantial ways through my SoulWork curriculum. What is the bottom line? His dream for me keeps me pressing forward into each new day with a clear vision and grateful anticipation for all that lies ahead.
What about you? Do you have a dream? If not, have you asked God for His dream for your life? When you know it, I encourage you to follow it with all your heart!
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