I've been thinking about listening...

The Undeniable Healing Power of Deep Listening

In 1985, the average American had three people in whom to confide matters that were important to them. By 2004, that number had dropped to two confidants with as many as 25% of Americans having no one in whom to confide.

Confiding is natural in a close relationship - the kind of relationship that provides a safety net when dealing with the confusing affairs of life. The mechanism that encourages confiding is the practice of listening. Unfortunately, most of us are woefully inadequate in the practice of listening - at least the kind of listening that incorporates a narrowing of focus directed solely to the person in front of us. Because we do not listen, we often miss the undeniable healing power of this simple but deeply complex and subtle process.

You may feel like I do. I think I am fairly skilled at asking good questions. I am not so gifted at sitting back and keeping silent! But isn't deep listening really allowing space for more possible factors to enter the equation?

What factors might contribute to the healing process God has designed for the person in front of me? Teacher and author, Karen Mains, shares some thoughts about how deep listening actually contributes good things to both the speaker and the listener by:

• providing an opportunity where an individual can be fully heard;
• strengthening the hearer's ability to listen on three levels - to the speaker, to the inner nudges of the Holy Spirit and to inner reactions;
• understanding there is wisdom, given by God to each person involved, which is best accessed by prayerful listening;
• creating space for the Holy Spirit to do the work of leading an individual to truth;
• encouraging unceasing silent prayer in the hearer;
• allowing for the uncomfortable reality that it is okay to allow issues to go unresolved, pain to come forth without being hushed or patted away or hurried;
• reinforcing the fact that it is okay for there to be no closure during time together

So what have we learned about the process of deep listening? It's clear that deep listening benefits and accelerates spiritual, emotional and psychological growth in everyone who gets involved! And it is also clear that healing follows on the heels of deep listening because we all yearn to experience one of those unusual moments when someone turns their full, undivided, uninterrupted attention our way.

I've been thinking about ministry...

Impossible - Difficult - Done!

Many years ago, Hudson Taylor, the evangelical missionary of the China Inland Mission, described the challenge of ministry in twelve simple words.

First it is impossible,
Then it is difficult,
Then it is done!

Why is vital Christian ministry impossible to do? Because a human being cannot change another human being's heart. God alone accomplishes it through us only when we collaborate with Him.

Jesus' instruction is clear in John 6:28-29. When He was asked, "What must we do, to be doing the works of God?" Jesus answered, "This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent." Stripped of all my self-effort, I am reminded that my role is that of an extremely interested observer. My task? Listen with all my might, be ready to move at the impulse of His urging, then stand back and watch Him do the work.

IMPOSSIBLE
Hudson Taylor's twelve words describe the very thing which makes the Christian calling so incredibly exciting. We are entirely dependent upon God's empowering presence with us, and strangely, only if it is humanly IMPOSSIBLE are we called - or given a vocation - to do it.

God is kind to give us a vocation - a strong feeling that we are suitable for a particular career or occupation, as a directional arrow. But, even with this confidence in God's calling jingling in our pocket, we are reminded that we cannot accomplish the impossible without partnering with Him in our service to others.

DIFFICULT
Notice that the second line includes the word DIFFICULT. I have been around long enough to realize that accomplishing something good is not easy. Most of the time my assignment is to trudge along, obediently putting one foot in front of the other, for exceptionally long periods of time. The phrase, "the common begin, the uncommon finish" comes to mind.

Reminder to self: Don't be surprised that anything you undertake for God will be far more difficult than you ever imagined.

DONE
And then, the exciting and fulfilling conclusion in the third line - DONE! I love the exclamation point that shouts out triumph and victory are possible because God accomplishes ALL that He sets out to do. My joy is complete when I realize the Lord has used me, once again, in the unique way He created, fashioned and fitted me for ministry.

Looking back, I marvel! What seemed so insurmountable and impossible, the thing that stretched my patience to the limit because it was so difficult, is now DONE and we are off on another adventure!

I've been thinking about spirituality...

The World of the Spirit and SQ

Most everyone knows that IQ stands for Intelligence Quotient, which is a measure of our ability to perceive the relatively obvious, physical aspects of reality; to solve problems and acquire conviction intellectually.

Michael Guillen, Ph.D., theoretical physicist, former science correspondent for ABC News, and author of the book, Can a Smart Person Believe in God?, advances the theory that we also have a measurable SQ or Spiritual Quotient. He says that the SQ is that ineffable, instinctive aptitude which is a measure of our ability to perceive the subtler, nonphysical aspects of reality; to solve problems and acquire conviction spiritually.

Michael believes that all through our lives IQ and SQ vie for preeminence. We are influenced to raise one over the other as two competing worldviews collide. Where IQ teaches life has rhyme and reason; SQ teaches it has purpose and meaning. Where IQ teaches that seeing is believing; SQ teaches that believing is seeing. And the battle for our minds and our faith rages on.

The secret to managing both IQ and SQ is to bring them into balance. Michael calls this his Third Law of Stereoscopic Faith. This Third Law states: Wisdom, love, and humility are the end results of stereoscopic faith - the culmination of a synergistic process by which, in becoming smarter, we become more spiritual, and in becoming more spiritual, we become smarter.

On the practical side, according to science: godliness - or SQ - is good for us, demonstrably good, both mentally and physically. Compared to the average population, high SQ people appear to:

• heal faster from illness and injury;
• recover more easily from alcohol and substance abuse;
• cope better with stress, trauma, and emotional loss;
• be less likely to suffer from depression; and
• be more likely to feel happy and optimistic.

In many ways, our SQ is shaping up to be more important than even our IQ. Our devoutness to God appears to be a fairly reliable predictor of how well we'll do not just in school or the job market, but in life as a whole, which ultimately is what matters most.

Once again these thoughts moved my mind to a passage in Proverbs that promises these things to an individual who embraces God's Word and His definition of a life of spirituality.

My son, if you receive my words and treasure up my commandments with you, making your ear attentive to wisdom and inclining your heart to understanding; yes, if you call out for insight and raise your voice for understanding, if you seek it like silver and search for it as for hidden treasures, then you will understand the fear of the Lord and find the knowledge of God. For the Lord gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice and watching over the way of his saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul. Proverbs 2:1-10 (ESV)

Michael provides an SQ Test of 20 questions at the end of his book and then instructions on how to calculate your SQ: Spiritual Genius; Very Spiritual; Spiritual; Marginally Spiritual, Secular. I won't tell you how I scored but suffice it to say, I certainly can appreciate the power of the SQ!