Saturday, December 22, 2007

I've been thinking about relationships...

"Moving On"

I admit to reading People magazine once in a while because I succumb to the blaring headlines. Recently, one particular issue caught my attention. The cover featured the "Revenge of the Exes - Who's Happy? Who Can't Let Go?" with flattering pictures of Reese, Jessica and Bridget, three beautiful women who have experienced public celebrity break-ups.

The article inside, "THE EX WARS" asked this newsworthy question. "Who's still hurting, and who's moved on?" The phrase "moved on" or "moving on" is contantly used in these types of articles to reflect the admiration of our society for the partner who is portrayed as the stronger more resilient person. At the other end of the spectrum, we are to pity the weak, vulnerable partner who just can't seem to "move on" or stop grieving. What do you personally think about "moving on"?

Is "moving on" the most important aspect of a healthy perspective? Is it a godly perspective?
While I understand that in some situations, the person left behind must process the loss and make their quality of life a priority, I wonder if "moving on" works. It seems to me that there is plenty of emotional residue that can't be swept under the rug by simply "moving on."

Of course, these thoughts stimulated a discussion with my husband who seems to have an opinion about everything! His contribution? Be the rejectee not the rejector. What he means is that we have a responsibility as Christians to keep our relationships clean. The cleanest kind of relationship keeps the responsibility on the stronger partner to love with unconditional love as much as possible, as long as possible. The stronger actually absorbs the rejection and "moves on" only when Jesus provides an antidote for the pain and guilt - a liberal shower of His unconditional LOVE that is finally embraced by an individual as the only real Truth that matters.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

I've been thinking about caring...

The Light Touch

A long time ago I read a thought about how to love that has affected the way that I care about people. The concept was that love does not dominate, it cultivates. The word "cultivates" resonates with me because as a farmer's daughter, my job was to tend the strawberry crop produced by our immense garden. On a side note, I am blessed with a view from our Santa Cruz condo that includes stawberry fields. It is a marvel to watch the preparation of the soil, the peeking up of the plants as they mature, and the intense amount of work involved in hand-picking the stawberries. Because they are so delicate, they cannot be left too long in the fields. I can personally attest to the fact that cultivating stawberries is definitely a labor of love.

Picking and preparing stawberries also requires a gentle touch. Too much pressure and zap you have stawberry jam! And so stawberries have taught me the concept of "the light touch" in caring for others. This "light touch" is about exerting a minimum amount of pressure on others by gliding over their lives with emotional sensitivity and responsiveness.

Here are a few examples of what I am talking about:

Becoming a balcony person to those I love
Storing up wisdom for the moment it is asked for
Remembering holidays, birthdays, significant dates
Choosing gifts that unify - I buy several of the same items for this purpose
Sending humorous cards that make that special someone laugh out loud
Providing small luxuries that bless and restore
Listening for the purpose of understanding
Obeying Holy Spirit leadings in timing and needs

Just think of times when you have been treated in a heavy-handed, pressured way and promise to never do the same to others. Consider adopting the style of "the light touch" and bless others with your unconditional caring.

Monday, December 17, 2007

I've been thinking about listening...

Cultivating the ART of Listening

I've noticed that as I cultivate the art of listening, the people around me are visibly uplifted, encouraged and strengthened. I relax into the phrase "the art of listening" because there I find freedom to grow in my skill of "hearing with thoughtful intention" just like many other skills I am personally cultivating.

When I think about why I want to listen, I realize that I am motivated by my desire to honor others above myself. The less self-absorbed I become, the more I desire to cultivate the "art of listening" to reflect the change of perspective that Jesus Christ continues to patiently bring into my life.

When I need a practical outworking of what is at the heart of the art of listening, I turn to these thoughts a friend shared with me:

To listen is very hard, because it asks of us so much interior stability that we no longer need to prove ourselves by speeches, arguments, statements or declarations. True listeners no longer have an inner need to make their presence known. They are free to receive, to welcome, to accept.

Listening is much more than allowing another to talk while waiting for a chance to respond. Listening is paying full attention to others and welcoming them into our very beings. The beauty of listening is that those who are listened to enjoy wonderful benefits you intentionally provide. In your presence they feel accepted, they take their own words more seriously and they enjoy the freedom to discover their true selves.

Listening is a form of spiritual hospitality by which you invite strangers to become your friends, to get to know their inner selves more fully and even dare to be silent with you.

What a joy it is to value others by listening! I get motivated each time I am reminded of just how important listening is to God. He loves it when His sons and daughters feel honored and they are honored when I faithfully cultivate the art of listening!

Monday, November 5, 2007

I've been thinking about overcoming...

What Cancer Cannot Do

John Piper, Pastor for Preaching and Vision at Bethehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, Minnesota since 1980, is a respected theologian and author. He is credited with writing a powerful piece entitled What Cancer Cannot Do. Pastor Piper understands cancer because he himself is a cancer survivor. This is what he wrote:

Cancer is so limited.
It cannot cripple love.
It cannot shatter hope.
It cannot corrode faith.
It cannot destroy peace.
It cannot kill friendship.
It cannot erase memories.
It cannot silence courage.
It cannot invade the soul.
It cannot steal eternal life.
It cannot conquer the Spirit.

Overcoming is the ability to get the better of something;to gain superiority over it; or even more simply stated - to win. After meditating on John Piper's thoughts I realize that it is possible to substitute many other words in place of the word "Cancer." Other dreadful words come to mind like "pain", "loss", even "change" or "transition." It is all about where I put my focus when I am in a season described by these words.

We are familiar with James 1:2-4 in the ESV version, Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.

The Message offers a fresh perspective, Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.

Even though the temptation is great to focus on the fearsome thing, the truth is that I will lack nothing when I remain steadfast under pressure. Most importantly, nothing of lasting value will be ever be compromised. I will win in the end.

Monday, October 22, 2007

I've been thinking about prayer...

Seven Prayers I Am Convinced God Will Answer

As I watch women work through the SoulWork process, I am constantly reminded of the importance of prayer for getting in sync with God. My mind has been wrestling with how to capture the essence of what a woman requires from God to complete each chapter. Here is my attempt to distill the ideas down to seven basic prayer statements. If you have completed the SoulWork curriculum, see if you agree. If you have not experienced it, perhaps this will entice you to give it a try.

1) Remind me of Your past goodness so that I can peacefully trust You for the future. Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she smiles at the future. Proverbs 31:25

2) Enable me to live my life artfully, with joy and laughter as my familiar companions, by releasing me from past distortions. We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5

3) Stir my passion to do Your will and guide me in the way I should go. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake. Psalm 23:3

4) Make me courageous enough to know You for who You really are and to settle for nothing less. I have heard of Thee by the hearing of the ear; But now my eye sees Thee. Job 42:5

5) Strengthen me to live out my beliefs by conforming my mind to the truth of Your Word. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

6) Give me every facet of wisdom from Your heavenly perspective that I am able to comprehend. But it any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all men generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. James 1:5

7) Help me dream big, Dream Giver! Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever. Amen! Ephesians 3:20 & 21

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Monday, October 15, 2007

I've been thinking about my purpose...

What is my purpose as a Christian woman?

The empty-headed treat life as a plaything;
the perceptive grasp its meaning and make a go of it.
Proverbs 15:21 (The Message)

I find it hard to stay on purpose with all the distractions in my life. This week we have been "staging" our home to put it on the market at the end of the month. The process of removing and distributing our personal belongings is yet one more distraction from the substantive things I would rather be doing.

Years ago one of my favorite Christian authors did me a tremendous favor by describing what I am to stay focused on in language I could understand. Sometimes I hunger for someone to just simply tell me what to do! What a relief when a respectable person spells it out clearly.

In Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman, Anne Ortlund writes, "As a woman your eternity-oriented task is to affect others, to move them to God through the Savior, Jesus Christ. Your temporary task, for the years you have them, is to affect the members of your physical family, by whatever means you can, to be "born again" into God's eternal family and to grow within that family to spiritual maturity. Your lifelong task, at least from conversion on, whether married or single, is to influence everyone you can, to the same ends - to help them become temple material of gold, silver and precious stones." (Inspirational Press: New York, pages 74 & 75)

Anne's comment regarding temple material of gold, silver and precious stones is a reference to the Apostle Paul's remarks in 1 Corinthians 3:10-15 (NLT), Because of God's special favor to me, I have laid a foundation like an expert builder. Now others are building on it. But whoever is building on this foundation must be very careful. For no one can lay any other foundation than the one we already have - Jesus Christ. Now anyone who builds on that foundation may use gold, silver, jewels, wood, hay, or straw. But there is going to come a time of testing at the judgment day to see what kind of work each builder has done. Everyone's work will be put through the fire to see whether or not it keeps its value. If the work survives the fire, that builder will receive a reward. But if the work is burned up, the builder will suffer loss. The builders themselves will be saved, but like someone escaping through a wall of flames.

This Scripture stimulated a good discussion with my theologian husband. I asked him to define the kind of works that will survive this sort of testing. His definition is "selfless acts for which I receive no reward here on earth." He pointed me to Matthew 6:1 (NASB) where Jesus says, Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them, otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven.

With these thoughts in mind, my purpose as a Christian woman is clear. I am to be about doing selfless acts of service and I am to encourage others to practice them as well. Sometimes I need to be reminded that the selfless acts done in secret - especially those that are the most obscure and unnoticed - are the very ones God values most. This is the true reward of a purpose-driven life!

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Wednesday, September 26, 2007

I've been thinking about decision making...

Holly's decision making grid for ministry opportunities

Several years ago, my life coach, Carol Travilla, asked me to put together some kind of a grid for making decisions. I went to work not really knowing what I was supposed to be doing with the assignment. After wrestling with it for a while I finally came up with eight very pertinent questions to ask myself before I made any ministry decision. These questions have stood the test of time. By sharing them, perhaps I will stimulate you to work on your own set of tailor made questions which incorporate your particular unique gifts and personality. You can use some of mine if they work for you. I would be flattered!

1) Does it exhilarate me?
Exhilaration is a combination of fear and excitement. Fear because a new challenge has a risk component and excitement because God designs the BEST opportunities to grow. In fact, if something presented to me doesn't have both of these elements, I do not believe that God is in it!

2) Is this something only I can do?
A friend shared with me this very effective way of prioritizing. There are some things many others can do but there are a few things that ONLY I can do! These are the things I must attend to!

3) Does it allow me freedom for stimulating growth?
This is my mission in life. God has made me a person who consciously and unconsciously stimulates growth in others. I want to be strategic in using this ability wisely.

4) Is it experiential and/or interactive in nature?
Unlike my husband who is a very excellent speaker and lecturer, I really prefer opportunities to interact and dialogue with people. In fact, the more spontaneous the interaction, the more I like it!

5) Does it support my goal of developing a product and/or a tool?
I love to create something that is transferable to others and that can be used over and over as a personal diagnostic tool.

6) Does it "use me up" or energize me?
Because I am an introvert, I must be careful to steward my energy. I have discovered when I am working in my giftedness, however, that I am very energized even if I am required to relate intensely to people.

7) Am I equipped and/or gifted for it?
There is so little time. I must be careful to choose wisely.

8) Does it negatively affect my commitment to my family?
I believe that God does not punish my family when I am doing His will. Ultimately, obeying God should benefit the people I love, not trash them or throw them under the bus!

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Saturday, September 8, 2007

I’ve been thinking about saying farewell…

A Farewell to Scottsdale Bible Church
June 3, 2007

farewell n. 1: a wish of well-being at parting

In Acts 20:24, the Apostle Paul said, “I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and my ministry that I have received from the Lord Jesus.”

The course of our active, full-time ministry with Scottsdale Bible Church is ending here tonight. This evening is a celebration of finishing the course with our integrity intact and our love for the body here preserved for all time. There is an expression I remember reading years ago. “It’s gone to the publisher,” meaning that the end has been written and it cannot be altered in any way. This is truly something to rejoice about!

A few months ago I was sitting in the service here at SBC and God interjected His thoughts into mine. As I looked around the auditorium that morning, He said to me, “Holly, you have been faithful with the task I gave you. Well done, good and faithful servant!” My heart flooded with joy that closure had finally come to me after months of agonizing over our decision.

My most important priority is to obey the mission that God gives me in my “holy ground” moments with Him. I will stand accountable before Him one day for the choices I made in this life.

Oswald Chambers understood the “holy ground” of God’s calling. He said, “It is easier to serve God without a vision, easier to work for God without a call, because then you are not bothered by what God requires… It is even possible to be more prosperous and successful, more leisure-hearted, if you never realize the call of God. But if once you receive a commission from Jesus Christ, the memory of what God wants will always come like a goad.”

It is my intention to attempt to value and respect “holy ground” missions in the lives of the people I love. I may not understand or even appreciate the choices being made because God’s calling is specific – and often demanding.

But, by respecting the movement of God in each other’s lives we are all free to obey Him. What that means to me, practically speaking, is that I can pursue the calling of God with the wholehearted approval of the people I love and who love me. Thank you for being those people, tonight. I will never forget you. I will hold you in my heart forever!

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May 2007

I’ve been thinking about ping pong…

Ping-Pong\trademark – used for table tennis

Many years ago my husband and I attended a worship service at the Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, California where Chuck Swindoll was a very popular pastor at the time. That morning he shared an illustration that I have repeated on numerous occasions.

Chuck used the analogy of a ping-pong game to drive home his point about the most serious problem in relationships. In fact, if the problem is not resolved technically there is no relationship.

How the Game is Played
Ping-pong is a lively indoor game that resembles a miniature version of tennis. The server places the ball on the palm of the hand, throws it up vertically, and hits it with his paddle. The ball must bounce on the server’s side of the net, clear the net, and bounce on the opponent’s side. For a good return, a player must hit the ball after one bounce so that it clears the net and bounces on the opponent’s court. Play continues until one person misses the ball, hits it off the table, or hits it into the net.

The Potential of the Game
The player who first scores 21 points wins the game. However, the winner must have at least a two-point lead. An entire match consists of either two out of three games or three out of five games.

The Tragedy of Unfulfilled Potential
The fact is it takes two individuals to play ping-pong. Two people can know the rules of the game, have the best paddles and balls, but if one or both players do not pick up the paddle there will not be a game. The potential of enjoying a lively match is lost. This is a tragedy of the worst kind because the essence of life is relationships.

Ping-pong cannot be played with only one player because it is impossible for a person to run around the table and hit the return shot. Perhaps you long to play with someone you care deeply about but they won’t pick up the paddle. Even though there is tremendous agony in waiting to play at least you understand the problem and can pray accordingly.

Or perhaps you have decided to not pick up the paddle even though the nature of the relationship would require you to play. In that case, Romans 12:17 & 18 instructs you to, “Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”

My job is to deal with my anger, bitterness or lack of forgiveness so that I am ready to play with my paddle in my hand. This is my responsibility before God. Am I ready to play the game?

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May 2007

I’ve been thinking about faith and fear…

Jesus Calms the Storm
Luke 8:22-25 ESV


One day Jesus got into a boat with His disciples, and He said to them, “Let us go across to the other side of the lake.” Note that Jesus charted the course to the eastern shore of the Sea of Galilee. The area was largely uninhabited and, therefore, was a good place to rest.

So they set out, and as they sailed He fell asleep. The steady, gentle motion of the boat lulled Jesus to sleep. I love being rocked to sleep in a sailboat. Don’t you?

And a windstorm came down on the lake, and they were filling with water and were in danger. Their terror was real! Storms were not unusual on the Sea of Galilee which lies 680 feet below sea level. As the air on the surrounding hills cools, it stirs up great waves on the lake. The high waves crashed into the open boat placing them all in grave danger.

And they went and woke Him, saying, “Master, Master, we are perishing!” I use too many exclamation points in my writing, however the Bible does not. Exclamation points are reserved for over-the-top EXTREME situations! It must have been quite a violent storm to frighten experienced fishermen who had weathered numerous storms on Galilee.

And He awoke and rebuked the wind and the raging waves, and they ceased, and there was a calm. Jesus commanded the wind and the raging sea to cease. The waves flattened out immediately to a smooth, calm surface. This was unnatural and added to the amazement and fear of the disciples.

He said to them, “Where is your faith?” Besides rebuking the wind and waves, Jesus rebuked His disciples. A parallel account in Matthew 8:26 puts it in stronger terms. “Why are you afraid, O you of little faith?” In their panic the disciples did not stop to sort out their theology. Jesus knew that fear and faith cannot exist simultaneously. Their fear betrayed their lack of faith and confidence in Him.

And they were afraid, and they marveled, saying to one another, “Who then is this, that He commands even winds and water, and they obey Him? His rebuke produced the desired effect. Now the disciples did not fear the storm; they feared Jesus. It means they held Him in higher awe and respect than their fear of nature. The greater fear always casts out the lesser fear.

Since we do have the time to sort out our theology, let’s ask ourselves a very pertinent question. If Jesus had remained asleep, would the ship have gone down? I suppose each one of us must come to terms with our own very personal answer to this question.

In the raging seas of life, will my faith beat back fear no matter how grave the situation? Will I continue to trust even though it seems bleak? I am thankful this story was recorded to help me choose to resolve what I will believe when my day of testing comes.

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April 2007

I’ve been thinking about Linda Todd…

A Tribute to Linda Todd

I will never forget the last time I saw her. She was dying of cancer and my husband and I were responding to an invitation to come by for a visit. We were directed to the bedroom where she was reclining on her bed dressed in a lovely pair of pajamas.

She made no attempt to hide her bald head. I remember that admiration leaped up in my heart for her courageous vulnerability. As I looked more closely, I noticed that her baldness actually emphasized the beautiful contours of her face. Her delicate fingernails and toenails were freshly painted.

We sat down to visit. We laughed. We prayed. She dazzled us with her peaceful femininity in the face of death. And when the time finally came for us to leave, we felt the emotional pangs of parting from someone we would never see again in this life.

I walked down the hall to the front door with mixed feelings. I was deep in thought about the sober situation but also very grateful for the unique and precious opportunities ministry provides. We said our goodbyes and walked out to our car in the driveway.

Just then the front door opened slightly to reveal Linda peering out at us. She had gotten out of bed to say one last goodbye. She had an impish grin on her face. In fact, I remember she looked positively merry! Like someone going to a party instead of someone on the brink of death. The expression on her face remains with me still.

Many months later, we found out that Linda’s estate would provide a substantial amount of money to build out a Women’s Center at Phoenix Seminary. The dream of a Women’s Center has been in many hearts for a long time. We have all been waiting patiently for God’s provision.

God in His wonderful grace directed Linda to think about perpetuating ministry long after her life on this earth ended. No wonder she was anticipating something wonderful with that impish grin. No wonder she looked like a Cheshire cat lit up from inside with the anticipation of blessing many women following after her with her generosity.

We thank God for Linda Todd. We thank God for the beauty that radiated from the inside out during her most trying hours. We thank God for the hope her overcoming faith stirs in our hearts. We thank God He accomplished His will through her life. We thank God Linda Todd finished well.

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April 2007

I’ve been thinking about morphing…

PPI is Morphing!

Seldom in life is one blessed with the kind of personal satisfaction that I have experienced in formally mentoring women over the past seven years. Since beginning Prickly Perspectives, Inc. in the fall of 1999, I have been privileged to guide over 60 women through an ever evolving personal enrichment process. My self-imposed internship has been a steep learning curve in the complexities of self-discovery for myself as well as the women God has entrusted to me. Often I have said that I mentor with a bent toward spiritual direction which requires listening with an ear for discerning the movement of the Holy Spirit. Of course serving others in this way requires careful attention to the details of my own life. After much reflection this spring, I have discerned three very significant things. First, God is bringing closure to the last seven years. Second, He is compelling me to steward all that I have learned and morph into something new. And third, He is pleased with my attentiveness to His direction and my willingness to be obedient!

Darryl and I met with Bobb Biehl in January to sort out issues relating to our personal and professional transition. During our time together I summarized the tools I use in mentoring women. Bobb encouraged me to write a curriculum with the material and in his characteristic way asked me to come up with a name for the project on the spot. Within seconds SoulWork came to mind. When I discovered that the domain name - SoulWork.org - was available I was hooked. I interpreted these events as a directional arrow from God to move out in confidence with the production of the SoulWork curriculum.

As a young girl I remember reading a column by Joyce Landorf in my Baptist Sunday School paper entitled I’ve Been Thinking. A small dream began in a corner of my heart as I imagined what it would be like to share my insights with others through my writing. The production of SoulWork is forcing me to produce an autobiography of how God has moved in and through my life. Each woman who embraces the SoulWork process will gradually replace my material with her own autobiography capturing her understanding of God’s movement in and through her life as well.

I am also feeling a definite push by God to move closer to Phoenix Seminary for the purpose of focusing some of my energy next year to the spouses of the Masters of Divinity students who are headed into full-time ministry. My plan is to add two student spouse groups to my schedule in the fall. I will continue to offer small group opportunities for women from the community in addition to facilitating an advanced group for women who have completed the basic curriculum.

In processing these things, I realize I am still looking for what is over the rainbow! My ultimate dream of creating a women’s center housing a variety of educational and developmental resources for helping individuals realize their dreams is coming true step-by-step under the mighty hand of God. The desire to see a beautiful complex serving the needs of our community will remain in my heart until it actually becomes a reality or the movement of God morphs me yet again into a new direction.

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June 2006

I’ve been thinking about change…

When God’s timing interseCts
Change is disorienting. Looking back, most of 2005 was characterized by feeling restless about the course of our lives. Clearly something was not right, but what? As the events of the year began to unfold, we were compelled to look around, listen and explore, “What is God saying?”

With both Scottsdale Bible Church and Phoenix Seminary evolving into complex entities, Darryl was stretched to the breaking point in his attempt to imitate Zorro straddling the backs of two horses running side by side at a full gallop. It became clear that there could only be two ways out of this kind of predicament – carefully maneuver down onto one horse or eventually be thrown off!


witH our personal preparation
Life experiences - thirty-five years of marriage; thirty-one years spent in the senior pastor role; nurturing two church communities into fruitful vineyards; a multitude of personal life transitions; raising two sons, adding two beautiful daughters to our family and experiencing the joy of grandchildren – these have been our preparation.

After waging numerous battles over the years we have much “blood on our tunics” and we have become wise to spiritual warfare. Viewing the landscape from this position, the word “legacy” is no longer simply a word in the dictionary but something that dominates our desires to shape the next generation and the next and the next…

And obedience,
I heard a speaker say once that all change is perceived as loss by someone. This change has rocked my world and I am feeling loss. Yet, every time I make a decision to do the right thing even with a misty fog hugging my soul, I am practicing obedience. Every time I make a decision to trust God even during a season of reevaluating my life direction, I am practicing obedience. Every obedient decision leads to a course of action that is blessed by God and eventually to a lifetime that finishes strong.

Darryl and I watched with great interest as Johnny Carson courageously decided to call it quits at the pinnacle of his career. Would we handle God’s compelling in our lives as graciously and wisely as this celebrity? These are the tests of obedience…


remarkable opportuNities
The Apostle Paul instructs in 2 Timothy 2:2, “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” Men and women attending seminary have made many difficult, sacrificial choices to study and prepare themselves for a life of consecrated ministry. Even in their youthfulness they are placed on the fast track to maturity. They need helpful resources and practical sage advice. They need models of long term effective ministry.

emerGe. – Anne Alexander
God’s plan for my life is profoundly simple. As I place my soul in His care and allow His love to penetrate my inner being, His love flows through me to others. This is my clear mission in the days ahead. Darryl and I are exhilarated by the possibilities of Phoenix Seminary, we are humbled at the challenges and we are looking to Jesus to help us find our way home at the end of the road.

Are you opEn to a change?

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March 2006

I’ve been thinking about heaven…

Just Think About It!

When things get tough here on earth sometimes it is good to think about the wonders of heaven. After David Kraft died, his six-year-old daughter, Karen, introduced me to this little song. Heaven is a wonderful place, filled with glory and grace. I’m going to see my Savior’s face. Heaven is a wonderful, heaven is a glorious, heaven is a wonderful place. Joyce Brown captured some interesting concepts about heaven in her book, Snapshots of Heaven. What amazing possibilities! Just think about it!

In heaven…

We’ll arm wrestle with Samson, go fishing with Peter, ask Noah how he got all the animals into the ark, hear what Daniel was thinking as he looked at those lions, and listen to Mary’s stories about Jesus’ childhood.

We’ll be reunited with dear friends and family members who have died. We’ll get to know countless generations of our ancestors. We’ll meet people whose lives we touched in ways we never knew. And we’ll never run out of things to talk about!

We’ll be surrounded by heroes – the finest, brightest, bravest, most noble people from all over the world throughout all time.

We’ll get to know angels who were on hand when the earth was created, angels who sang to the shepherds that first Christmas, and angels who watched over us on earth.

We’ll believe everything we hear. There won’t be any slanted news, distorted facts, or exaggerated stories. No deceptions or lies. Truth will reign.

Many people will have to find new vocations. There won’t be any need for doctors, nurses, pharmacists, dentists, lawyers, social workers, beauticians, psychiatrists, insurance agents, soldiers, bankers, undertakers, tax collectors, police, or repairmen.

Wherever we go, we’ll be home. We’ll never wish we were somewhere else, doing something else, or with someone else.

There won’t be any cosmetic counters; every woman will be gorgeous naturally!

We’ll never be anxious or impatient for the future because our attention will be totally captivated by unimaginable joy and miraculous wonders of the present.

There will be only two kinds of tears – tears of laughter and tears of joy. We will never be angry, lonely, frustrated, frightened, discouraged, overwhelmed, dissatisfied, or depressed.

We won’t say, “How are you?” in greeting because the answer will always be the same: “Fantastic!” or “Incredible!” or “Unbelievable!”
No one will warn us to “Be careful” because there won’t be any dangers.

There won’t by any wrinkled faces, gray hair, or bald heads; no false teeth or bifocals, no stooped shoulders, arthritic joints, or fading memories. Everyone will be in the prime of life forever.

It will always be spring, always be morning, always the beginning – never the end.

The good news is that God will welcome all into heaven
who have welcomed Jesus into their hearts.


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December 2005

I’ve been thinking about happiness…

Happiness from the Source

Does God want us to be happy? Yes. But it is not the happiness we seek through self-fulfillment, and it is not the feeling that ebbs and flows with circumstances and possessions. God wants us to have the kind of happiness that endures—joy, peace, and contentment—and these only come through trusting Him, obeying Him and loving Him, even when it’s hard. Below are ten Scriptures for meditation along with “Jesus questions” to draw you closer to the Source of joy, peace, and contentment—the wellspring of God’s eternal words.

1. Those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)
Did I not tell you that if you believed, you would see the glory of God? John 11:40 (ESV)

2. For I know the plans I have for you...plans for good and not for disaster,
to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11 (NLT)
Have I been with you so long, and you still do not know me? John 14:9 (ESV)

3. The Lord your God...will rejoice over you with great gladness.
With His love, He will calm all your fears. Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)
Which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?
If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest? Luke 12:25, 26(ESV)

4. Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 (NLT)
Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking? John 20:15 (ESV)

5. Everything is possible with God. Mark 10:27 (NLT)
Do you believe that I am able to do this? Matthew 9:28 (ESV)

6. Nothing...will ever be able to separate us from the love of God
that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:39 (NLT)
What man of you, having a hundred sheep, if he has lost one of them,
does not leave the ninety-nine in the open country, and go after the one that is lost, until he finds it? Luke 15:4 (ESV)

7. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7 (NLT)
Why are you troubled, and why do doubts arise in your hearts? Luke 24:38 (ESV)

8. I can do everything with the help of Christ who gives me the strength I need. Philippians 4:13 (NLT)
And do you not remember? When I broke the five loaves for five thousand,
how many baskets full of broken pieces did you take up? Mark 8:18-19 (ESV)

9. May our Lord Jesus Christ and God our Father...comfort your hearts and give you strength in every good thing you do and say. 2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 (NLT)
What do you want me to do for you? Matthew 20:32 (ESV)

10. Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares about what happens to you. 1 Peter 5:7 (NLT)
When I sent you out with no moneybag or knapsack or sandals, did you lack anything? Luke 22:35 (ESV)

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October 2005

I’ve been thinking about sparkle…

TWINKLE, TWINKLE, SHIMMER, SPARKLE
GOD REJOICES OVER ME
ONLY WHEN I REST IN BEING TREASURED
CAN I BE THE LIGHT I LONG TO BE!



At this stage of my life, I find myself with an undeniable desire to “sparkle” as a mature daughter of God. To sparkle means to give off bright, moving points of light. I found a Scriptural basis in Daniel 12:3, “And those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky above, and those who turn many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.” (ESV)

I know I am a light bearer and I want to be a good one. But how? Here are some practical ideas for all of God’s “sparklers”!


Glowing character
A virtuous wife is worth more than precious rubies. Proverbs 31:10 NLT

Glittering joy
When dreams come true, there is life and joy. Proverbs 13:12 NLT

Shimmering hope
The hopes of the godly result in happiness. Proverbs 10:28 NLT

Blazing courage
God rescues the godly from danger. Proverbs 11:8 NLT

Lustrous laughter
She laughs with no fear of the future. Proverbs 31:25 NLT

Radiant trust
Those who fear the Lord are secure. Proverbs 14:26 NLT

Flashing smile
A glad heart makes a happy face. Proverbs 15:13 NLT

Glistening grace
Your own soul is nourished when you are kind. Proverbs 11:17 NLT

Luminous love
Disregarding another person’s faults preserves love. Proverbs 17:9 NLT

Shining wisdom
From a wise mind comes wise speech. Proverbs 16:23 NLT


The way of the righteous is like the first gleam of dawn, which shines even brighter until the full light of day.
Proverbs 4:18

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June 2005

I’ve been thinking about expectation…

Standing on Tiptoe!

One of the legacies of 2004 for me is my growing awareness of a phenomenon I call standing on tiptoe! The dictionary defines this phrase as standing on the tips of your toes out of eager expectation and then uses the phrase in a sentence for further clarification. With Christmas coming, the children were standing on tiptoe! Exactly!

How is it that this particular phenomenon is one of the many facets of wisdom I am harvesting from all the loss and upheaval? Who would have guessed this kind of anticipation would be back in my life so soon and with so much intensity?

Reading on in my dictionary I find a specific concept about standing on tiptoe that really resonates with me. It is listed under the fifth item – straining upward. Perhaps it is my belief in God and my desire to press toward Him that motivates me. Perhaps it is the idea of reaching up toward heaven because people I love are there and hope rests there in the person of Jesus Christ. The fact is that I am not only eagerly standing on tiptoe in anticipation of good things but that I am also straining upward is a demonstration of my faith in a good God.

What are the good things I am anticipating? After some contemplation here is a short list of possibilities that keep me standing on tiptoe out of sheer exhilaration for what lies ahead.


Appropriating soaring promises and solid provisions
Bearing up under pressure to find surprising joy
Casting away another anxiety that hinders from living the abundant life
Dreaming God-inspired dreams and nurturing them to reality
Enjoying the refreshment of deep fellowship with God
Facing challenges with renewed vigor and vitality
Grasping the reality of God’s protection when danger is near
Hearing and embracing God’s perfect will one more time
Initiating meaningful goals and laying the groundwork for implementation
Joyously finding the key to unlock doors of fear and doubt
Keeping to the course set for me and marveling at the scenery
Leading out in risky ventures with God’s guidance, vision and endurance
Mining the truth of the Scriptures and discovering gold everywhere
Nurturing awareness of God’s fingerprints in the lives of His children
Opening doors of exciting opportunity for faithful servants of God
Pursuing choices that honor God in difficult circumstances
Questioning the status quo and recommending remarkably creative ideas
Relinquishing old stodgy plans and attitudes and assumptions
Sensing genuine promptings of God’s Spirit and acting on them
Teaching passionately the focus, energy and influence of a personal mission
Unloading burdens of accumulated cares and useless baggage
Vanquishing spiritual foes by standing firmly on the Word of God
Waiting on God for treasures designed especially for me
Xeroxing the path intentionally of those who model maturity
Yearning for more freedom to reflect God’s personality through my life
Zigzagging through temptation to ultimate victory in Christ

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March 2005

I’ve been thinking about dreams…

Thank you, Dream Giver!
Thank you for the gift of my big dream.



RECOGNIZING MY DREAM

Ordinary looked and looked.
And then he discovered that in a small corner of his heart lay a Big Dream.
- Bruce Wilkinson, The Dream Giver, p. 14

In 1999, I discovered a Big Dream in a small corner of my heart that seemed so impossible, I would never have attempted it without the steadfast support of my husband, Darryl, my covenant friend, Jacque Chadwick, and a ministry-minded attorney named John Politan. That year Darryl forced me to come up with a name, create a mission statement and objectives so that John could write up the incorporation papers. A very big THANK YOU to you Darryl and John, as well as Jacque who along with Cindy Montgomery served as my original board members, for your unshakeable belief in my Big Dream!

REALIZING MY DREAM

Every Dreamer soon learns that the road to the future you really want
is clogged with Dream-threatening obstacles. That’s why so many turn back.
The Dream Giver, p. 8

Any number of things could have extinguished my Big Dream if it had not been for a formidable entourage of women who appeared at just the right time to coach me around and through Dream-threatening obstacles. THANK YOU Carol Travilla, Bev Lehsten, Mary Jane Farr, Sandy Wilson, Celestia Tracy, Diane Grant, Glenna Wilger and Sharon Sullivan for your love and commitment to me.

RESOURCING MY DREAM

Champion sat down on the rock beside him. “When I heard you had become a Dreamer, I just had to come,” he said. “I knew you’d need help.”
The Dream Giver, p. 29

Listed around the border are many Champions who stepped up to finance PPI when I needed help. I will never forget your kindness to me. THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart.

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November 2004

I’ve been thinking about grief and loss…

O Lord, Enlarge My Soul!

Loss came suddenly for Jerry Sittser. In an instant, a tragic accident claimed three generations of his family: his mother (his past), his wife (his present), and his young daughter (his future). Jerry’s response was to plumb the depths of his sorrow in order to understand the grace that eventually transforms it. His journey through the dark days after the accident and his poignant discoveries are recorded in a book called A Grace Disguised.

In other words, though I experienced death, I also experienced life in ways that I never thought possible before – not after the darkness, as we might suppose, but in the darkness. I did not go through pain and come out the other side; instead, I lived in it and found within that pain the grace to survive and eventually grow. I did not get over the loss of my loved ones; rather, I absorbed the loss into my life, like soil receives decaying matter, until it became a part of who I am. Sorrow took up permanent residence in my soul and enlarged it.

In March my father died of a heart attack. Two weeks later my precious six-year-old nephew, Austin Moore, died suddenly of brain cancer. Our family moved from sunshine to shock to profound sorrow at the magnitude of these losses. Since then I have been navigating the dark and unpredictable world of grief. Just when life begins to feel normal - grief jolts me back to reality and rolls over me once again. My struggle is not with recovering from the losses (because that is not possible) but with absorbing the losses and growing because of them.

The soul is elastic, like a balloon. Loss can enlarge its capacity for anger, depression, despair, and anguish, all natural and legitimate emotions whenever we experience loss. Once enlarged, the soul is also capable of experiencing greater joy, strength, peace, and love.

O Lord, do your work in me and enlarge my soul!

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted
And saves those who are crushed (or contrite) in spirit.
Psalm 34:18

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July 2004

I’ve been thinking about growing up…

How Do You Grow (All the Way) Up?

Gain Awareness – Romans 14:12
Be responsible with your body, feelings, attitudes, behaviors, abilities and wants

Define Who You Are – Proverbs 15:2
Use wisdom in saying what you think, what you feel, what you like,
what you desire and what you will do

Define Who You Are Not – Proverbs 2:6-9; Proverbs 15:1
Say what you do not agree with, do not like and will not do with gentleness

Develop the “No” Muscle – James 5:12
Learn to say NO to some things to make room for saying YES to others

Stop Blaming Others – Genesis 3:12
Embrace your own pain and the consequences of your own actions

Stop Playing Victim – Psalm 25:12
Realize you have choices – seek to make wise choices and own them

Persevere – James 1:4
Continue on in spite of difficulty or opposition

Become Active, Not Reactive – I John 4:10
Be an initiator, not a reactor - choose how you will behave

Set Limits – Ephesians 5:15-17
Stay on mission

Choose Values – I Peter 1:18; 2 Peter 1:5-8
Define who you want to be and where you want to go

Practice Self-Control – Galatians 5:22-23
Strike a balance between satisfying your desires and restraining them

Accept Others - Romans 15:7
Welcome others – love and accept them for who they are

Be Honest – Proverbs 3:3; Psalm 51:6
Be genuine and sincere in all you say and do

Challenge Distorted Thinking – Ephesians 5:11
Identify your distortions and act in accordance with the truth

Speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects unto Him,
who is the head, even Christ.
Ephesians 4:15

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March 2004

I’ve been thinking about purpose…

ugly duckling
[after the story of the same name by Hans Christian Andersen]:
something that appears very unpromising but often has great potential

“That is a monstrous big duckling,” a puzzled mother duck says when the last of her chicks hatches out of his odd-shaped egg. “Can he be a turkey chick? Well, we shall soon find out.”


From that day on, everyone knows that this duckling is different. Teased for his awkward appearance by even his own brothers and sisters, he steals away, friendless, marching on bravely through obstacles at every turn. The seasons change, and so does the duckling – but not until an exhilarating moment one spring does he realize the glorious truth about himself.

Reflected in the still pool he saw many graceful shapes, with long necks and golden bills. Without thinking, he looked for his dull feathers and awkward, skinny neck. But no such thing was there. Instead, he beheld beneath him a beautiful swan!

“The Ugly Duckling” tale is a wise and timeless fable based on Andersen’s life. His own childhood appeared particularly unpromising. He was born in Odense, Denmark, on April 2, 1805, the son of a poor shoemaker who died when Hans was 11 years old. After attending the city school for poor children, Andersen left Odense at the age of 14 to seek a career in Copenhagen. He nearly starved while trying to earn a living as an actor, singer, and dancer.

In Copenhagen, he met Jonas Collin, who became his lifelong friend. Colin saw incredible potential in Andersen and helped him get a royal scholarship, which opened the door to continue his education.

Hans Christian Andersen, Denmark’s most famous author, published the first of his 168 fairy tales in 1835, and continued writing them until he died in 1875. He wrote with wisdom, deliberate simplicity, and often with sly humor. His fairy tales are considered both children’s and adult literature because many of them contain serious moral meanings intended for adult readers.

He rustled his feathers and raised his slender neck aloft, saying with pure joy in his heart, “I never dreamed of such peace.”

Are you still dreaming of this kind of peace?

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November 2003

I’ve been thinking about frogs…

I Kissed a Frog and Discovered a Prince! (Twice)

I received several new frogs for my birthday this year. Why? Because Darryl and I share an inside joke about a frog from an experience a few years ago and more and more people are finding out about it. That was all there was to it until I received an e-mail with a Scriptural acronym for FROG – (F)ully (R)ely (O)n (G)od.
Prompted to look below the surface for deeper significance, I experienced another faith-enhancing adventure poking around the height and breadth and depth of God. I ended up in Isaiah 40 verses 28-31 (ESV) marveling over the awesome truth once again that God can be completely trusted NO MATTER WHAT!

FULLY Totally confident
Have you not known? Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
RELY I will soar with strength when I am
He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable.
He gives power to the faint,
and to him who has no might He increases strength.
ON completely captivated by the
Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait on the Lord
GOD Creator and Ruler of the universe!
shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.

It has been my delight to discover TWO princes during my lifetime – an earthly one and a heavenly one. What more could a girl ask for?

In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus!
I Thessalonians 5:18 (NASB)

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July 2003

Friday, September 7, 2007

I've been thinking about maturity...

Make Insight Your Priority
(And don’t take no for an answer!)


Many years ago I heard Howard Hendricks define Christian maturity as the ability to give and receive love. Giving love is relatively easy to understand but receiving love is much harder to define.

If I chose to believe by faith that I am loved by God directly and indirectly and that I am maturing in receiving that love – how would my life be affected? What if I was loved with perfect patience, perfect kindness, loved without any shred of envy, or boasting, etc?

I wrestled with these concepts when I attempted to personalize 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV). Why not insert your name into these statements and check up on your maturity in giving and receiving love as well?

Maturity in GIVING LOVE

______ is patient
______ is kind
______ does not envy
______ does not boast
______ is not proud
______ is not rude
______ is not self-seeking
______ is not easily angered
______ keeps no record of wrongs
______ does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth
______ always protects
______ always trusts
______ always hopes
______ always perseveres

Maturity in RECEIVING LOVE

______ would feel no pressure
______ would share without reservation
______ would enjoy every good thing
______ would practice genuine humility
______ would serve without hesitation
______ would show gracious sensitivity
______ would harbor no personal agenda
______ would fear no threat
______ would forgive and forget
______ would shun ambiguity and embrace transparency
______ would rest securely
______ would face any challenge
______ would believe the best
______ would never ever give up!

That’s right – if you make Insight your priority,
and won’t take no for an answer,
Searching for it like a prospector panning for gold,
like an adventurer on a treasure hunt,
Believe me, before you know it Fear-of-God will be yours,
you’ll have come upon the Knowledge of God.
~Proverbs 2:3-5 The Message

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March 2003

I’ve been thinking about wisdom…

Sometimes I Need a JOLT of Wisdom!

Ever feel like you need an extra strong dose of perspective rejuvenation? I listened to a tape last spring that challenged me to read through the Psalms and Proverbs in a month by reading 5 Psalms and one chapter of Proverbs every day. This summer I read through the Psalms and Proverbs three times. Once again I found myself transformed by the transcendent beauty and profound wisdom in this portion of my Bible. If you need a jolt like I did why not try this exercise for the fall – October, November and December? 2003 might look very different!

Oct □ Nov □ Dec □

DAY 1 … Psalms 1-5 ... Proverbs chapter 1
DAY 2 … Psalms 6-10 ... Proverbs chapter 2
DAY 3 … Psalms 11-15 ... Proverbs chapter 3
DAY 4 … Psalms 16-20 ... Proverbs chapter 4
DAY 5 … Psalms 21-25 ... Proverbs chapter 5
DAY 6 … Psalms 26-30 ... Proverbs chapter 6
DAY 7 … Psalms 31-35 ... Proverbs chapter 7
DAY 8 … Psalms 36-40 ... Proverbs chapter 8
DAY 9 … Psalms 41-45 ... Proverbs chapter 9
DAY 10 … Psalms 46-50 ... Proverbs chapter 10
DAY 11 … Psalms 51-55 ... Proverbs chapter 11
DAY 12 … Psalms 56-60 ... Proverbs chapter 12
DAY 13 … Psalms 61-65 ... Proverbs chapter 13
DAY 14 … Psalms 66-70 ... Proverbs chapter 14
DAY 15 … Psalms 71-75 ... Proverbs chapter 15
DAY 16 … Psalms 76-80 ... Proverbs chapter 16
DAY 17 … Psalms 81-85 ... Proverbs chapter 17
DAY 18 … Psalms 86-90 ... Proverbs chapter 18
DAY 19 … Psalms 91-95 ... Proverbs chapter 19
DAY 20 … Psalms 96-100 ... Proverbs chapter 20
DAY 21 … Psalms 101-105 ... Proverbs chapter 21
DAY 22 … Psalms 106-110 ... Proverbs chapter 22
DAY 23 … Psalms 111-115 ... Proverbs chapter 23
DAY 24 … Psalms 116-118 ... Proverbs chapter 24
DAY 25 … Psalm 119 ... Proverbs chapter 25
DAY 26 … Psalms 120-125 ... Proverbs chapter 26
DAY 27 … Psalms 126-130 ... Proverbs chapter 27
DAY 28 … Psalms 131-135 ... Proverbs chapter 28
DAY 29 … Psalms 136-140 ... Proverbs chapter 29
DAY 30 … Psalms 141-145 ... Proverbs chapter 30
DAY 31 … Psalms 146-150 ... Proverbs chapter 31

“For He satisfies the longing soul …” Psalm 107:9 ESV

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October 2002

I’ve been thinking about grandmothering...

Proactive Grandmothering

Recently I was reading a book by Dr. Sandra Wilson entitled Released from Shame. On pages 34 and 35 I came across a section about family functioning that caught my attention.

Families perform three basic functions to meet their member’s needs:

(1) Maintenance
Meeting physical needs of food, shelter, clothing and medical care

(2) Nurturance
Meeting emotional and relational needs for acceptance,
affection, affirmation and time with others

(3) Guidance
Meeting intellectual and spiritual needs for instruction on such enormously
diverse topics as how to tie a shoe and how to know God

I appreciate Dr. Wilson defining in a concise way exactly what healthy parents (and grandparents) are supposed to be doing! For me proactive grandmothering includes performing these three functions for an adorable baby girl named Livia Marie.

Scripture and logic clearly teach that John and Tiffany have the primary responsibility for Livia’s maintenance, nurturance and guidance. Thankfully they are terrific parents. I observe them tenderly caring for Livia’s physical needs. I watch them prioritize emotional availability to their daughter. I admire their resolve to carefully instruct Livia in all manner of things.

By defining the functions of parenting, I create a backdrop for my supportive role of proactive grandmothering. I clearly make my contribution by filling in around the edges of Livia’s life by quietly observing and meeting her spoken and unspoken needs.

How will I do that? God has given me two words that I hope will always characterize my unique contribution. My two words are steady and sparkly!

Steady - firm, fixed, stable, constant, regular, uniform, or continuous; not changing, wavering or faltering

Sparkly- throwing off sparks, gleaming or shining in flashes; glitter or glisten, as a jewel, sunlit water; to be brilliant and lively (!!!)

No gunslinger was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent
pulling a baby picture out of a wallet.

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June 2002

Thursday, September 6, 2007

I’ve been thinking about marriage…

The Four Spiritual Laws of Marriage

I call it a lapse of love when either of us looks away from God temporarily in our marriage relationship. A lapse can be easily identified by a predictable result - conflict. Eventually, when we are ready to return to God’s design, The Four Spiritual Laws of Marriage help us diagnose the problem(s).

LAW 1 - LOVING HEADSHIP provides PROTECTION for the wife.
God has placed within the woman a need to feel secure. God has instructed the husband to provide protection. When, with the help of the Spirit of God, he provides an environment that is physically, emotionally and spiritually safe, he is loving her. (Ephesians 5:25-27)

LAW 2 - LOVING HEADSHIP provides HONOR for the wife.
God has placed within the woman a need to be treated with honor. To honor is to recognize the worth God has given her and to treat her with that worth. Listening to what she communicates is honoring her. When a man responds by initiating sacrificial actions to meet the real needs of his wife, he is loving her. (I Peter 3:7)

LAW 3 - LOVING SUBMISSION responds with SUPPORT for the husband.
God has placed within the man a need to fulfill his dreams. A man is incomplete without his wife and knows he cannot carry out what God has given him to accomplish. When a wife partners with her husband to support his dreams for himself, their family and their future, she is loving him. (Ephesians 5:22-23; I Peter 3:1a)

LAW 4 - LOVING SUBMISSION responds with RESPECT for the husband.
God has placed within the man a need to feel respected. To respect or to give reverence to is to believe in him. When a woman treats her husband with reverence, he will attempt to be worthy of that trust. By believing in him, she is loving him. (Ephesians 5:33)

In our experience when one or more of The Four Spiritual Laws of Marriage are violated, the marriage suffers. Either I am NOT feeling protected and/or honored or Darryl is NOT feeling supported and/or respected. Check it out for yourself! I guarantee applying these laws will rapidly return your marriage to God’s design, provided you both desire to be obedient. Even if you are alone in this desire, be encouraged! Joyful rest inevitably follows obedient choices.

“Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth.”
Colossians 3:1&2

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March 2002

I’ve been thinking about healthy relationships…

O Lord, help us dance with selflessness and grace!

It came back to me again this week. In speaking with a friend about her troubled marriage I was reminded of the allegory of the dance in describing healthy relationships. I originally discovered this concept in the beautiful book GIFT FROM THE SEA by Anne Morrow Lindbergh. My heart is leaping once again at the deliciousness of sharing this insight with YOU!

A good relationship has a pattern like a dance and is built on some of the same rules. The partners do not need to hold on tightly, because they move confidently in the same pattern, intricate but gay and swift and free, like a country dance of Mozart’s. To touch heavily would be to arrest the pattern and freeze the movement, to check the endlessly changing beauty of its unfolding. There is no place here for the possessive clutch, the clinging arm, the heavy hand; only the barest touch in passing. Now arm in arm, now face to face, now back to back- it does not matter which. Because they know they are partners moving to the same rhythm, creating a pattern together, and being invisibly nourished by it.

The joy of such a pattern is not only the joy of creation and the joy of participation, it is also the joy of living in the moment. Lightness of touch and living in the moment are intertwined. One cannot dance well unless one is completely in time with the music, not leaning back to the last step or pressing forward to the next one, but poised directly on the present step as it comes. Perfect poise on the beat is what gives good dancing its sense of ease, of timelessness, of the eternal. It is what Blake was speaking of when he wrote:

He who bends to himself a joy
Doth the winged life destroy;
But he who kisses the joy as it flies
Lives in Eternity’s sunrise.

The dancers who are perfectly in time never destroy “the winged life” in each other or in themselves.

But how does one learn this technique of the dance? Why is it so difficult? What makes us hesitate and stumble? It is fear, I think, that makes one cling nostalgically to the last moment or clutch greedily toward the next. Fear destroys “the winged life.” But how to exorcise it? It can only be exorcised by its opposite, love. When the heart is flooded with love there is no room in it for fear, for doubt, for hesitation. And it is this lack of fear that makes for the dance. When each partner loves so completely that he has forgotten to ask himself whether or not he is loved in return; when he only knows that he loves and is moving to its music-then, and then only, are two people able to dance perfectly in tune to the same rhythm.

You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing… O Lord, I will give you thanks forever!
Psalm 30:11&12 (NLT)

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November 2001

I’ve been thinking about mothering…

A Mother’s Prayer

Father God, thank you for the gift of motherhood. Psalm 127:3
I dedicate each of my children to You. Proverbs 22:6
Use me to prepare them for the occupation and ministry
You planned for them before the foundation of the world. Ephesians 1:3, 4

Thank you for the capacity to sacrificially love, 1 Corinthians 13:7
and affectionately like the children You designed for me. Titus 2:4
When I am weak in my ability to love - enlarge my heart. Psalm 119:32
Fortify my resolution to train them diligently in the
discipline and instruction taught in Your Word. Ephesians 6:4
Cloak my conduct with gentleness and kindness. 1 Peter 3:4 & Proverbs 31:26

Implant Your dreams and desires in their hearts. Psalm 37:4
Give them faith to believe that with You nothing is impossible. Luke 1:37
Inspire them to obey You with risk-taking and passionate choices. Colossians 3:1, 2

Give them wisdom to stand against the world James 1:5
squeezing them into its mold – Daniel 1:8
the desire to indulge and possess and impress. 1 John 2:16
Instead, may Your Spirit transform their minds day by day. Romans 12:2
Show them Your tenderness and compassion, Psalm 103:13, 14
as they come to know You intimately, 2 Corinthians 6:16
delight in You constantly Psalm 40:8
and trust You completely. Proverbs 3:5

And finally -
Stir their passion for Your will. Philippians 2:13
Nurture their potential for Your purpose. Philippians 1:6
Refine their character for Your Kingdom. 2 Peter 1:5-8
Seal their legacy as shooting stars for Your glory. 1 Corinthians 10:13

I ask this in the name of our Lord and Savior,
Jesus Christ. John 15:16

Amen.

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March 2001