Proactive Grandmothering
Recently I was reading a book by Dr. Sandra Wilson entitled Released from Shame. On pages 34 and 35 I came across a section about family functioning that caught my attention.
Families perform three basic functions to meet their member’s needs:
(1) Maintenance
Meeting physical needs of food, shelter, clothing and medical care
(2) Nurturance
Meeting emotional and relational needs for acceptance,
affection, affirmation and time with others
(3) Guidance
Meeting intellectual and spiritual needs for instruction on such enormously
diverse topics as how to tie a shoe and how to know God
I appreciate Dr. Wilson defining in a concise way exactly what healthy parents (and grandparents) are supposed to be doing! For me proactive grandmothering includes performing these three functions for an adorable baby girl named Livia Marie.
Scripture and logic clearly teach that John and Tiffany have the primary responsibility for Livia’s maintenance, nurturance and guidance. Thankfully they are terrific parents. I observe them tenderly caring for Livia’s physical needs. I watch them prioritize emotional availability to their daughter. I admire their resolve to carefully instruct Livia in all manner of things.
By defining the functions of parenting, I create a backdrop for my supportive role of proactive grandmothering. I clearly make my contribution by filling in around the edges of Livia’s life by quietly observing and meeting her spoken and unspoken needs.
How will I do that? God has given me two words that I hope will always characterize my unique contribution. My two words are steady and sparkly!
Steady - firm, fixed, stable, constant, regular, uniform, or continuous; not changing, wavering or faltering
Sparkly- throwing off sparks, gleaming or shining in flashes; glitter or glisten, as a jewel, sunlit water; to be brilliant and lively (!!!)
No gunslinger was ever faster on the draw than a grandparent
pulling a baby picture out of a wallet.
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June 2002
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